Questing for Atlantis

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – why are the immigration hawks not outraged over the ease with which Santa crosses the United States border?

Supposedly NORAD has been tracking him on Christmas Eve for years. And now Google is getting in on the action. With this level of surveillance on his movements it shouldn’t be hard to stop him and take him to task for illegally entering the country.

And come on. If migrants crossing the border to get a job is a huge threat to our national security, just think about the danger from jolly old St. Nick – the corpulent Big Brother who watches us all year and sneaks into our homes every year. Sure, he’s always brought presents before, but what’s to say what he might bring if Al Qaeda took Mrs. Claus hostage?

And while we’re on the topic of Santa, why haven’t I heard anything about the Consumer Product Safety Commission taking action against Kringle to make sure his elf-made toys are in line with the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act.

And now that I think about it, Santa does all his work at the North Pole. Maybe I missed it, but why hasn’t President Obama stepped in to stop American industry from being undercut by cheap foreign labor? He already did it with tires, so what makes toys different? Are we going to see a Christmas bailout for the toy-makers?

Now, just to make sure you all know, I’m not actually suggesting people start doing what I noted above. I do however think they should learn a bit from Santa. He’s an excellent way of expressing the benefits of a free society. Santa makes everyone wealthier and better off by freely moving across borders, producing goods without having to worry about the costs imposed by foolhardy regulations, and voluntarily exchanging them for good behaviour by children. If that’s not a free market parable I don’t know what is.